A lot like love

Never thought it´d hurt this much, to luv someone and then, that person dies… and never thought that after a breakup it´d hurt, but not the same, not the same pain, not the same grief...i´ve been reminded of two different women, by two different men: one of them told me that i reminded him the woman he luved, but they broke up, and said that he still luved her, even though she was with some other man. The other was a guy a met in college, who said that he liked me cuz i reminded him his girlfriend, who left and never come back...i also never thought luv would be so cruel sometimes and so gentle; and the sadest part was when i came back to see my ex, i tried to desire him, to want him, to need him, but in spite of all my effort, i couldnt, i just couldnt!! I mean, i thought there was something wrong with me, but there was nothing wrong, the only thing was that i didnt feel anything like love. But he was so nice to me, he even gave me some time to think about getting back together, and i just...didnt say a word, and finally, i said that i couldnt, that i´d be his friend, cuz i didnt feel anything like luv. I felt a bit sad, cuz i really wanted to luv him, but i just couldnt push or force myself to feel something like that.

People always ask me, ´´why dont you have a bf?´´ or, ´´you should have a bf, you´re pretty, smart, and even though you´re weird, you´re kinda funny.´´ i found out that that wasnt the problem, in fact, there wasnt any problem at all!!! I just dont like all the guys that pass me by, or that i talk to, or the guys who are my pals....someday, i´ll feel that kind of luv too, and i´l find out how much it hurts...